I’m late to the game getting to this subject, but I took some time for renewal and reflection to dig deep and think about how I wanted to move forward after having such an awful year. My 2013 sucked. Bad. It’s safe to say that by the end of it I had completely lost myself and any direction I may have had prior to the start of the year. This changes now.
Some moleskine reflections:
- No year ever gets worse – I just keep putting more and more demands on myself of an ever increasing intensity year in, year out.
I know I’m not alone, the ease at we as a society compare ourselves to others is the fuel behind this. Seeing something else in someone else and attempting to manifest in ourselves, is much easier to say, much easier to dream, but much HARDER to do. Duh! We almost always have the audacity to dream of the success and rationalize the reason for the change, but rarely do we have the audacity for attaining that dream. Don’t know what I mean? Try surfing through Facebook, I’m willing to bet you will quickly catch yourself comparing your own achievements to the posts you may find on there, whether they be from a successful businessman, a professional athlete, adventurer, newly wed, homeowner, your friends etc. Anyone your brain can deem “ahead” of you in the points race of life so to speak. I am 100% guilty. Trouble is, you can only run one race at a time. Our own comparisons in our now fast paced electronic fueled lives compound on this guilt by signing us up to run in more than one race, effectively putting more expectation and potential for failure on our plates, let alone the added time and effort. It’s draining, it’s detrimental. I digress. My point is: maybe the year wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t have such high expectations and didn’t foolishly sign ourselves up for more than we are capable of in the first place. I’m not saying decrease your ambition or don’t do whatever it is that you want to do, but let’s see what would happen this time around if we ran one race effectively. A points race that has all of our heart and soul, with maximal effort, that is acutely adaptive to life, and has the needed audacity to see it through. What im boiling all of this down to is this: do what you love and live a simpler life. To quote Albert Einstein “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.”
- 2013 crap
I have spent months cleaning up financial issues within my family. Family over everything.
I spent a lot of time and money to end up exactly where I started when it comes to training. Even when I was training with 10% of the focus I used to I still tried to grind out workouts, hyped up on optimism and not realism. My nervous system was destroyed and I ended up injuring my knee.
I was distracted. I was trying to move mountains by strengthening my relationship and giving my all to make peace and a solid foundation at the cost of my own life (professionally and socially). I performed poorly at work and I started to lose my local friends.
My relationship fell apart. Completely silly and most likely inevitable, but it left a massive mark on me and taxed my ability to focus and think for the majority of the year. I believed this person would be with me for forever, god damn I was wrong. No longer will this person live rent free in my brain.
I was tested heavily on my dream of being a trader. Extreme measures had to be taken to not capitulate; the family matters only made this worse, the long run will tell us more. Emotionally this battle is over, but I am still picking up the pieces so to speak.
I rushed my biggest decisions of the year. Who I was going to live with and should I fix my dead jeep to name a couple.
I chased a business opportunity that has led me to nowhere but hot air land.
My biggest client, with the most upside potential for me to pull myself out of the hole decided to cease all business with my company on December 31st.
I never took a break. – My biggest mistake of them all.
I really don’t have much success from this year to talk about other than I am still here, I have minimal debt, and I met a friend who I hope will be with me forever.
It doesn’t make sense, I tried to make sense of it Plan all you like, practice good health and karma, be kind to puppies, life will fuck your shit up. However, I am a marketable man, with my own skillset, and my own ambition. I am fully capable of starting my climb back up from what seems to be the bottom.
So lets make some rules going forward in to 2014.
Don’t ever get attached or emotional over any kind of plan or idea. Take a step back. Go forward with a clear, settled, adaptive mind. Shit happens. Opportunities are created.
When something extensively hurts or requires too much effort. I’m going to stop doing it. That’s right B. A tasteful balanced life is ahead.
Be prepared to make the right decision, as vague as this is, It is the most important. As CEO of yourself, you have to look after yourself and your world. Make sure you are making the RIGHT decision and not the emotional or popular decision.
In 2014 I am going to do whatever the FUCK I want to do!